Monday, March 23, 2009

Unconditional Parenting Part 2

I have finished reading Alfie Kohn's book, Unconditional Parenting. I began reading the book in hopes to find a better approach to handling situations with Charlie. It was very helpful and somewhat relieving to find techniques that don't involve pushing rewards or punishing with abandonment. I especially like his ideas of working with children and explaining which behaviors are unacceptable. After all, it is our job to help them grow up to be good people. they are not going to just learn it on their own. So, why not teach them and explaining the WHY! Making kids aware of how it makes others feel when they are not kind is important. You may say that this is not rocket science, of course you talk to your kid and explain that we don't hurt people. But I think Alfie Kohn is saying, take it to a new level of understanding. Take the, "Because I said so..." "No hitting" "That is unacceptable" "Be nice" and work with your child on helping him or her understand. "When you hit people it hurts them. It makes them sad. Look at her face." "Spitting is not acceptable behavior. It is very rude and it doesn't make people feel good." I found myself reading this book with hopes to help my family but also found it to parallel my daily struggles in teaching. I feel that I am much more level headed and non-reactive in teaching than I am at home with my children. Once again, it reassured me that the more nurturing and structured environment for young children the less control and need for "doing to" discipline. I am just trying to be the best parent I can be. A life-long learner I strive to be everyday! Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well. Aristotle

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